Thoughts before an interview

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Over here at a dunkin donuts on 82st Roosevelt ave killing time for an interview, or an “open house” (I should say) for blink fitness. When I think abou this process, all types of insecurities surface. I think they don’t want a 30 year old or “how many interviews will I go to” like my father said. I must have faith and be hopeful and grateful for my health, strength, and endurance to keep striving. I’ve been through alot of pain and I’m ready to turn a new leaf. I hope that this situation is the key and opens new doors for situations to occur that will lead me towards my deepest desires, goals and not what the next man or woman or family member bestowed on me.
Im just going to go be respectful as I always am, but at the same time take pride in being my self. No image, just Giscard, my story, my life, my pride, my pain, my accomplishments. Simply me. And at the end in the very least, I leave knowing I was my self and that’s good enough for me. At the best, they accept me for me and it hopefully sparks the beginning of new relationships with who ever I come across I’m actually very funny when Im comfortable in my skin. At least I believe. My horoscope power thought says, ” Life is one big joyful dance ” The quote inspires me to stop absorbing peoples misery. If I can make people laugh like Kevin hart that would bring me joy. Jokesters runs in my blood for goodness sake! Lol
Just thinking random. Confidence, competence, love, faith, and  joy is what Im affirming to my self today. I am strong. I will make it. I gotta take a shit lol.. I was thinking my last interview for sprint I was completely out of synch. But this time around I feel very calm and relaxed. I purposely didn’t workout yesterday so I can be a normal human. What ever normal means, but after this interview I’m going Ape shit in the gym like always. Its crazy how when I was doing finance in Manhattan I would go so hard and not get the results I wanted then go to the gym for a relief and sometimes I would go twice a day. This time around I want to get results from my job and my gym. Speaking things into existence…
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One of my best ways to get motivation in life is through my families disbelief in my progression.  It put a fire behind my back when my father cursed me out after I told him “I will no longer need his hard earn money” If he was going to rub his “power over me” in my face especially after I realized the money was giving me was under “specific circumstances” . I thought to my self, “for real”? ” Your going to curse me out”? One thing about me is as long as im alive I will always remain optimistic. I spent too much time on my psychological development to remain down and besides,  I believe in God.

So what happened? We had an agreement that he would assist me in getting the ” uber job ” by covering the training costs. Half way through my training I noticed incriments of small atttiudes towards him making the rest of required payments as if he had an hidden agenda to him helping me. At one point I heard him mumble “after this amount (which was about 85%) I’m done with you”.  I wasn’t too sure what he meant so I kept quiet, analyzed, and gathered more information like I always do and “kept it moving”

Next, about last week Friday I asked him whats the update with the rest of the money? He expressed that he has issues making the payment in which I replied “OK no problem”; I was already grateful for the amount he gave me and I noticed he was under pressure. Finally , Monday he calls me with an attitude and says “The money is on its way and by the way since you said your a grown man (in response to him questioning my vacation disappearance out of state for a week) I want the last portion back ; I only have 10 dollars in my pocket”. I thought to my self that wasn’t even in our verbal agreement. And  we eventually got off the phone.

Moments later I called him back and told him “you know what? I’ll come up with the rest of the money my self since you mention your struggling and catching an attitude on the phone”. This man blows up! Tells me ” I making him feel guilty”, becomes even more offensive, we exchange more words. He then proceeds to curse me out. Calls me stupid, says “I don’t want to work”( Funny I went on an interview last week and my email database shows hundreds of resumes  sent out right? Sure! ), tells me F%#& me, etc etc

Like…  I get hes trying to help me. Under what motive? Not sure. Its just not in my heart to take anyones last especially when your giving it to me with an attitude. I will take only what he may have to spare. He’s  family and as much as I want the money , there’s good money and bad money. I don’t want that kind of pressure on my back . I rather get it on my own. I never doubted my ability to get money. I doubted my families well being which is why I sacrificed getting money. I guess I gotta get a little more colder..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not really sure what this blog will be about. Today I am building the neuropathways of success by building new habits and being consistent in my endevours and sharing them with you so thanks for taking the time to listen

The future of blogs will cover fitness, spirituality, health, business, social dynamics, education, finance and what ever is on my heart. I am developing an insane focus and integrity for my blogs and I’m excited for the impact it will have for your life

As I hand mantra a meditation I also think about and education change possibly instead of going to school for business but to instead study law. I going to do the research and let you know what I come up with. Anyways, catch you on my next blog.. Peace