One of my best ways to get motivation in life is through my families disbelief in my progression. It put a fire behind my back when my father cursed me out after I told him “I will no longer need his hard earn money” If he was going to rub his “power over me” in my face especially after I realized the money was giving me was under “specific circumstances” . I thought to my self, “for real”? ” Your going to curse me out”? One thing about me is as long as im alive I will always remain optimistic. I spent too much time on my psychological development to remain down and besides, I believe in God.
So what happened? We had an agreement that he would assist me in getting the ” uber job ” by covering the training costs. Half way through my training I noticed incriments of small atttiudes towards him making the rest of required payments as if he had an hidden agenda to him helping me. At one point I heard him mumble “after this amount (which was about 85%) I’m done with you”. I wasn’t too sure what he meant so I kept quiet, analyzed, and gathered more information like I always do and “kept it moving”
Next, about last week Friday I asked him whats the update with the rest of the money? He expressed that he has issues making the payment in which I replied “OK no problem”; I was already grateful for the amount he gave me and I noticed he was under pressure. Finally , Monday he calls me with an attitude and says “The money is on its way and by the way since you said your a grown man (in response to him questioning my vacation disappearance out of state for a week) I want the last portion back ; I only have 10 dollars in my pocket”. I thought to my self that wasn’t even in our verbal agreement. And we eventually got off the phone.
Moments later I called him back and told him “you know what? I’ll come up with the rest of the money my self since you mention your struggling and catching an attitude on the phone”. This man blows up! Tells me ” I making him feel guilty”, becomes even more offensive, we exchange more words. He then proceeds to curse me out. Calls me stupid, says “I don’t want to work”( Funny I went on an interview last week and my email database shows hundreds of resumes sent out right? Sure! ), tells me F%#& me, etc etc
Like… I get hes trying to help me. Under what motive? Not sure. Its just not in my heart to take anyones last especially when your giving it to me with an attitude. I will take only what he may have to spare. He’s family and as much as I want the money , there’s good money and bad money. I don’t want that kind of pressure on my back . I rather get it on my own. I never doubted my ability to get money. I doubted my families well being which is why I sacrificed getting money. I guess I gotta get a little more colder..